take your chance

2010-07-09T00:04:00.002+10:00

Often, the subject that you least want to bring up is the one that troubles you the most. And it is the one that God most want to correct in you, to uproot all bitterness and rejection.

2010-06-24T23:56:00.002+10:00

It's the time of the year again.

Like previous years, I'm grateful for this day. For my parents who produced me, for bringing me to this world. And in this world, I came to know my Heavenly Father. It's more than I can ask for.

When everything seemed improbable, You made it possible.

I'm truly humbled by your Grace and Mercy.

2010-06-15T10:54:00.002+10:00

With All I Am, I Will Shout Forth Your Glory

If you think that you're smart and intelligent, you're only partially correct.

Truth is, everything that you have is given by the Lord.

He is the almighty One, the Truth and the Light.

Your intelligence is his blessings to you.

So if you don't use it righteously, you are not maximising the purpose of the tools that He has presented to you.

So what if I'm a little intelligent. I shouldn't just slack off and be lazy.

2010-06-06T19:46:00.002+10:00

Stuck in my head

The word "Everlasting" has been stuck in me for the longest of time. I'm not sure if it is due to the song From The Inside Out, or something else. In any case, He is Everlasting. And I'll proclaim it for my soul and my heart cries out for Him everyday.

For your Glory, For your Name.

I'll face everything bravely till the end.

The Serenity Prayer

2010-05-23T01:05:00.002+10:00

The Serenity Prayer

God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.

Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever and ever in the next.

Amen

- Reinhold Niebuhr

The nightmare

2010-05-23T00:34:00.003+10:00

The Nightmare

They say what you think about in the day manifests in your dreams. If it is something you are worrying about, it would most probably haunt as a nightmare.

Well, that is what happened to me last night.

Drowsy as I was, it was vivid.

The visual image of my horror and screams lingered.

And then you wonder about the significance of the dream.

Was it a vision or a manifestation of your heart?

Then it becomes clear that you've been afraid, and haven't truly forgiven the subject.

If only forgiveness was a word.

If only it was that easy.

A plane ride away

2010-05-23T00:24:00.006+10:00

A Plane Ride Away

Maybe mistakes are what make our fate...
Without them what would shape our lives?
Maybe if we had never veered off course
We wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are.
After all, things change, so do cities,
People come into your life and they go.
But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart...
And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away.

-Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City)

2009-10-29T15:09:00.000+11:00

I'm a selfish prick.

2009-10-07T03:38:00.002+11:00

Rants

It's been a long time since I blogged. And I really need an avenue to rant at this moment.
Its 4am, and I'm wide awake.

I've just had my first thought provoking conversation in months, and I can't help but question myself.
What have I been doing the past months?

I seemed to have lost all motivation, all senses.
The days and assignments are just seem to be random strangers in my life.
How did I allow it to happen?

And I just can't help but wonder where the road ahead takes me.
Literally.

All my life, the road ahead always seems to have an opportunity which I would grab hold of, and advance.
I didn't have to worry about PSLE because I was affliated to the secondary school. I have never dreamt of studying anywhere else other than SNGS.
I didn't have to worry about O Levels because I will most certainly be accepted into Victoria Junior College through appeal, using badminton.
I didn't have to worry about A Levels because I was accepted into UNSW Asia even before I took my examinations.

Every step of the way, I had a helping hand or a special skill of mine which would take me places.
I look back at my tertiary education, and I know I've matured. And I certainly have leadership capabilities. But I also have the tendency to run away from challenges and problems. I might be graduating without any internship on my records. I might be just a nobody. And the thought of it scares me.

I have no idea what doors of opportunity lies ahead of me, but I certainly hope that there is one, and that I will grab hold of it tightly.

S

2009-08-23T22:03:00.001+10:00

Sometimes, I don't know if the problem is me.
Or why do things start feeling different from what it used to be?
Or did we just run out of common things?

2009-08-23T20:35:00.002+10:00

Uni has been hectic.
My schedule has been topsy turvy.
But there are things that I'm looking forward to.

14 Sept - GG Season 3 Premier
21 Sept - House Season 6 Premier
1 Oct - The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest is coming out in the bookstores.
Mid-sem Break - maybe Melb.
Mid-Nov - Home Sweet Home (:

maybe more things in between.
I hope the time passes quickly and meaningfully.
Missing the people at home a lot.

---

Donna Crouch spoke at Sunday Night Live tonight.
It's about Lift.
Who gave you a lift?
Who are you going to give a lift to?

Hmphs, the names started springing up in my head.
Every one of them that I am so grateful for.
And I thank you for each one of them who once or still is passing/in my life.

2009-07-29T20:49:00.002+10:00

Haven't been updating cause there isn't much to update, in my opinion. Oh wells, it is just assignments after tests after assignments.. Like seriously, I feel like giving up on some stuff. But i obviously can't. Other than work, these are the other things I'm doing..

I love Sundays, and church.
I dread SSA meetings and its events.
I dread having to do I/S and B/S.
I love my daily dosage of coffee.
I suffer from coffee withdrawal.
I've been reminded of unpleasant things recently.
I am having Tour De France withdrawal symptons.

On to the movies that I've been watching recently.
Graduation (2007) - like the story line. small production.
Casanova (2005) - the ending of the movie killed the decent storyline and humour.
Crazy First Love (Korean) - Random, but funny.
The Sweetest Thing (2002) - 5mins of the penis song summed it all.
Dragonball Evolution - I thought it's okay, but apparently the guys thought it was crappy.
Rachel Getting Married - I watched it initially cause I thought it was a chick flick. But i was so wrong. It's such a serious film with various talking point. Pretty intense film.
Quantum of Solace - You can't go much wrong with a licenced killer. But the plot didn't attract me enough. Come to think of it, I can't remember what the Quantum was.
Never Been Kissed - Cheesy cheese. Predictable.

YUPPS.

2009-07-12T03:14:00.002+10:00

June-July 09

The past 4 weeks have been an absolute whirlwind for me. Hectic, yet fun. Exciting, yet distracting.

From studying, to birthday planning, to more studying and exams. From the arrival of my brothers to skydiving and my birthday party and more sightseeing. Yet, more awaits with the meet-ups of old friends..

The month of July promised so much. With the Wimbledon Mens' Finals, Hillsong Conference and Tour De France.

One at a time, they started to fly away and I'm left to cope with this alone again. It takes a time for me to get used to being alone again. I guess that explains why I'm still awake at 3am when I have to wake up early for church the next day.

This winter seems to be different from others. My family was here. I didn't have a proper rest the whole holiday. My friends from Singapore visited. I didn't travel out of NSW. I went to Hillsong Conference. And most importantly, I seem to be heading in a different direction compared to some of my friends. Maybe its tough, maybe we're caught up with things. Is that a proper excuse for us then?

Soon, the holidays will be over and school will start again. Life will be a routine like no other, except for the fact that I vow to restore my grades to the glory it deserves.

Where life and the semester leads me, I do not know. All I know is that I'm transformed and that I'll work hard towards my goal and vision.

2009-06-26T01:24:00.002+10:00

I was my birthday.
But instead of growing wiser, I screwed up once again.
Badly.
It was my fault, definitely.
Maybe on both counts.

I don't know how to live this life anymore.
Pleasing one or the other results in hurting the another.
Birthdays are meant to be a happy thing.
Am I supposed to learn something from all these?
Perhaps change my way of life?
My perception to things?
My insensibility and my couldn't-care-less attitude?

My birthday wishes this year are simple.
1) I really want everyone close around me to be happy. Like happy happiness.
2) My housing contract to be settled with extra favours from God.
3) Perhaps someone significant in my life. I think I'm ready for it. Who knows.

There are many things that I can wish for, but right now- This is all that I want. Simple, with no frills.

-

Anyway, I celebrated my 21st with a Sky dive. Sick.
The fact that I'm typing here now means that I'm alive. Haha.
It's not as scary as I thought it would be.
In fact, I reckon the 40-storey giant drop to be even scarier than this. Maybe its just me. Who knows. I'm going to zonk out now and reflect on my behaviour the past few days and past year.

2009-06-18T01:16:00.002+10:00

The effort is just not good enough

It just feels inadequate.
It's not the best.

Running, hiding, avoiding are not options one should take in life.
They should not even consider such real options.
Just be true to yourself and others.

Emo-kid is back.

x

2009-06-15T20:11:00.003+10:00

I think it went well

Left my exam 30min earlier yesterday. Left my exam 20min earlier the other day.

I have a few theories on why I'm behaving this way:
1) I'm absolutely brilliant
2) I cannot be bothered with exams
3) Exams no longer excite me
4) I have no interest in whatever I'm doing

I know I'll do a credit, but I don't think such behaviour warrants me a distinction. Sigh. I did pour out everything I knew, just not sure if its enough.

--

Had enough of a rest yesterday. Lazied around the whole day, just refusing to start work. Just had breakfast, and I'm going to wash up and leave the house soon.

Stumbled upon this blog that has this guide on surviving in SNGS. I applaud those person for trying to make SN a more accessible place. But it's just hilarious how much clues you decide to drop, whilst not revealing your identity. SN is not that big, ya know. It's so easy to find out who you are, speaking from experience. Anyhows, here's the blog. http://www.ultimategenuineguide.blogspot.com/
It was really entertaining to me.

x

2009-06-15T00:01:00.002+10:00

I flipped opened the Bible today

The words "He who is angry with a brother or a sister is guilty of murder" stood out to me. I am unable to turn away from the facts. Many other things stood out to me too. I guess its time for me to correct it and live right again.

--

On a cheery note.

I'm intending to get a Croquembouche as my birthday cake! Going to cost a bit and its not filling! But I really want it! Once in a lifetime. Haha. Excited.

--

Accounting exam tomorrow. Feeling much more confident than I did yesterday. I guess I can say I'm prepared, but I'm still praying for the paper to be favourable to me. Haha.

I suppose waking up this morning at 630am and reach church in time for the 8am service helped a lot. I almost had second thoughts about not going! Sheesh. Okay. Off to bed to get my healthy dose of 7 hours of sleep.

x

2009-06-13T23:31:00.002+10:00

In this hectic studying period, what we really need is the maximization of our brains and supernatural forces. How would you be able to memorize every single detail in the text, unless you've had the luxury to read it at least 3-4 times and memorized it at least twice. All I'm asking for is to do decently well to warrant a decent grade on Monday.

Yet, this proposition seems increasingly difficult when
1) I'm tired from the lack of sleep;
2) I haven't had the luxury to memorize;
3) I did badly for the mid-sems that I have to do even better for the finals.
4) It's impossible when its so confusing and I haven't had the intelligence. At least not this sem.

I'm giving up.

-

I can't even look far enough to my birthday to cheer myself up now. So much things to settle. No sleep-in right after my exams. No birthday cake as of yet, cause I've yet to take a look at orders or book it. No car rental cause I just don't know. No nothing.

All the timings just do not coincide this semester. Is it coincidental or incidental? I don't know. Unlike last year, I have no desperate inkling to want to go back to Singapore for the Winter Break, but I'm so indifferent to everything - as usual. It just pisses me off to be like that.

I need to go to church tmrr, even if it means waking up at 630am in the morning.

x

2009-06-12T01:20:00.003+10:00

I don't want to know, I don't want to think.
I just want to charge through this whole thing.

Another day, another time.
Memories soothing, memories provoking.
Ties unbreakable, ties fragile.

At the end of the day, what is what?

-

Alex was really sweet that day, at 3am.
He sent me this text:

"Just have faith in God in the toughest times and he will grant you favour to soar as high as the eagle can fly, and strengthen you as strong as the wind can blow."

Awesome.
He said he felt God nugging him to send this text.

I think I really needed it. Then and now.

2009-06-04T23:36:00.003+10:00

What is there left- when all is said and done

Despite it all, I still face the difficulty to sleep every night. The harsh reality stares back at me as I look into my blank ceiling. I am determined not to be a liability, but I cant help and think of myself as one. I desperately want to be independent, but I find myself ever so reliant. What is there left for me to do?

2009-06-01T02:25:00.003+10:00

Gran Torino

Watched this movie a few hours back. Absolutely brillant movie by Clint Eastwood. My great expectations did not end up in disappointment, not one bit.

This movie has so many ideas, themes and concepts - and they linked really well.
- Racial differences
- Guilt
- Societal problems - kids & gangs
- Social deficiency (not sure if this is the phrase, but basically, the inability to blend into the society)
- Family problems
- Inheritance
- ........

The 1972 Gran Torino pieced this up to perfection. Coupled with that fact that the movie ended with its hit theme song "Gran Torino" - Clint Eastwood & Jamie Cullum (one of my fave singers).

----------------------------

The word "love" is said easily and freely. When it comes to the act of forgiveness, people hold back. Even if it is typing the 3 words "I forgive you", people hesistate. People belittle these 3 words. However, I believe that forgiveness is a subset of love, they go hand in hand. In fact, I should rephrase my words. Love is the subset of Forgiveness, because the act of forgiveness is so powerful, the only thing next is Love.

He forgave us. The least we could is to forgive others because who are we to judge? Who are we to choose?

-----------------------------

This has been a topsy turvy of a week. I just wish for more stability and quietness. But my mind wouldn't stop wandering...

2009-05-27T04:01:00.002+10:00

I'm alive cause Jesus lives in me.
I'm not longer broken because He loves me.
I'm forgiven because He took my place on the cross.
His Grace is more than sufficient for me.

2009-05-24T01:56:00.000+10:00

Things to say, but i'm unable to express it in words.

2009-05-21T22:19:00.002+10:00

This semester is all about stability and achieving a balance.

Sadly, I have yet to do so, nor did I strike a balancing between life.
Church, studies, ssa, friends, family and problems...
I have not faced up to any of them.
I have been irresponsible to all.
But I do not even know where I have gone wrong.

Was I wrong to ignore the problems and treat them as if they were non-existent?
Was I wrong to put my family ahead of me, and endure it all?
Was I wrong to put Church ahead of all else?

Like a lost sheep, I have yet to find my way home this semester.
Question is, what do I really want to achieve?

2009-05-16T02:50:00.002+10:00

It seemed as though not so long ago (more than a year), I prayed to You to soften my heart and let me feel. Looking back, my heart ached several times during this journey but never a breakthrough. Just when I've forgotten about it, something hurt so bad that it broke my heart. And I cried for the first time.

If this is a breakthrough, then why pain? Where is the joyous component of in it?

Instead of running away from You, I gave myself completely. I got involved in church regularly, I attended Connect Group without fail every fortnight. Perhaps the only glitch is that I skipped Sunday service when I was really tired or busy. Yet, why does it seem as though I'm drifting away? After that one time, it feels as though my life has numbed up yet again.

Sleepless nights are my indication of reality, that I've yet to recover from it all.

I'm running aimlessly, distracted constantly, albeit by my 21st.
Only that I know my situation better.

Oh sleepless nights, will you stay away from me?

2009-05-04T22:10:00.002+10:00

And I just feel like giving up.
When that happens, you to question.
"What's the point in all this?"

And I response,
"I don't know. Somehow, it never feels as though I'm doing something for myself."

So then,
How do you find yourself within that?

-

I'm tired.
I really am.

2009-04-24T23:10:00.002+10:00

What you don't harm, may come back to haunt you one day.
That's what happens when you do not study hard enough.

I played with fire, and I might get burned badly this time. Talk about self-discipline...

-

Sigh sigh.

2009-04-13T23:59:00.002+10:00

Every Easter, my faith increases.

Back from Jervis Bay. Not much in the mood to blog about it, but it was pretty good. Relaxing, just the thing I need before starting to study again.

Badminton tmrr, J. Mraz the day after.
Woohoo.

And i'm getting more and more Honey Stars!

2009-04-08T00:43:00.002+10:00

Tell me something I don't already know about myself.

Give me an indication, a hint...

-

Just when I thought Easter started early for me, I am 'forced' to do work. Forced not by circumstances, but by my own will.

I've just been thrown a time bomb saying that Yupei will be coming over to Sydney, during a very very Mid-Sem Exam period of mine. And so, I really want to spend heaps of time with her. Which means I have to study and get everything pat down. Tough. Not forgetting the 21st birthday present that I'm planning. Time consuming.

All a sudden, it seems like I won't be getting much sleep till Easter Road Trip, where I get to crash on the road! Not literally. I don't want to experience it a 2nd time. Ha!

Oh wells. I've really been thrown a time bomb, and I want to make this work out. And get the good grades I so desperately want despite me missing all my classes! :(

-

Had a dream, or rather, a revelation last night. The fear is in me. I better live my life right, and righteous.

Easter is coming- I treat everyday as Easter. Thanking Him everyday and every step of my life.

It's a thorn I so desperately want to forget and remove, yet everything reminds me of that same rose, with thorns.

2009-04-07T15:52:00.000+10:00

The month of April promises to be very good!
But it means more prep work now!
:D

2009-04-07T10:51:00.001+10:00

for all the reasons..

2009-03-27T01:44:00.002+11:00

I sense it most of the time. But not this time. I really don't.

So where does this lead me?

2009-03-19T00:34:00.002+11:00

Seek forgiveness, and all will be well.

Been really tired lately. Been eating a lot and getting fat- especially since Jana moved in. Sheesh.

I think I really need to snap out of it and move on with life. Start studying! :(

2009-03-15T23:48:00.002+11:00

The quitter in me prevails!

Decided (90%) to quit the Honours course and do the normal accounting program! That way, my timetable will be nicer too! haha. No more huge chunks of breaks! Haha. Hopefully all goes well tmrr. Then it is Hello to a more relaxing semester! :)

Watching Guys and Dolls on 2nd April. Jason Mraz on 15th April. In between got Erica's birthday and Hillsong Live Recording! Woohoo. Looking forward to all. Then after Easter, I have mid-sem exams and assignments due! ):

2009-03-13T01:15:00.002+11:00

YANHO, PLEASE READ THIS!

I didn't know you'll be leaving today. Didn't know it'll be so sudden. It's one less friend in Aussieland. Oh wells...
The morning when you woke me up by calling me to jog. I asked you a very random question. That was because my alarm was the same ring tone as the a phone call. So I picked it up thinking you called, and vaguely thought that you were speaking to me! haha. I just realised it was my alarm all along. And that I was sleep talking! oh wells...

I GUESS IT HAPPENS FROM TIME TO TIME.

-

2009-03-11T01:25:00.002+11:00

School & boring Lectures

Accounting lecture - bore. drawing pictures on the notes.

IBF tutorial - interesting but stressful. "What is finance? What is the cause of the financial crisis? What is the outlook?" Questions to answer. News to read up. Makes me feel like a frog in a well.

IBF lecture - played "find the word" throughout the 45min lecture!

Connect group - What is Faith?

-

If I have faith, then I'm utterly lacking in trust. Trust is what I want, and I can't attain.

I will be better. Then, I'll be able to publish something about it.

Jogging tmr, I HOPE. Haha.

2009-03-10T01:51:00.002+11:00

It's only School

First day of school in a while, and I fell asleep in Honours class. His voice was just so soothing, puts me to sleep on a cold Monday morning. Haha. AND I stupidly indicated that I understand Chinese script, so hoping I don't get Chinese scripts for my Accounting Research now. :( really really scared.

Business Forecasting is kinda like a breeze this semester.

I buy textbook cause I don't want to go for lecture!

Ha! I officially reducing the number of contact hours I have a week.

As for ACF, I should have all the notes for my presentation at hand alr! cool....

Yea, I should head to bed now. Another long - break day tmrr.

2009-03-08T02:14:00.002+11:00

Things are not going smoothly as planned. I feel like I've erred once more.

MARDI GRAS

I finally went to Mardi Gras. Nice parade, but the waiting, pushing and squeezing before the parade was terrible. I was fighting a tough battle with this tall, old guy! Will upload photos and videos on Facebook soon.

2009-03-07T02:58:00.000+11:00

It's a real test of Strength and Character.

2009-03-06T00:07:00.002+11:00

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

Heard this when I was watching an episode of House today. Somehow, this just seems so apt. Seems to me that .....

-

Satisfied my cravings for Sashimi and cooked Prawns today, at the Fish Market. No wine, but its good. Just that the lady who sliced the sashimi in the wrong direction! Terrible.. St Peters should train their staff properly!

-

Sigh. Not really in the mood to blog except for the heading. So yea, I'm off to watch some lame drama which is kinda addictive.

2009-03-02T03:00:00.003+11:00

I'm confused. I really am.

What should I think of it all?
How should I face the aftermath?
How bothered will I be?

Oh, please make it all go away NOW.
I demand it.

2009-02-27T00:48:00.002+11:00

"Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours.."

Is this really the reason for what I am going through right now? I see no other explanation for it.

2009-02-17T05:08:00.003+11:00

Distant Memories

It was only 2 years ago and things have changed drastically. Some I like, some I don't- but there is nothing I can do about it. I have no power or control over the affairs of the heart. What I thought is a constant, is now variable and unpredictable...

-

Cleaning up my room this evening. Apart from the dust, dirt and books. I decided to pack some of my memories in a box too- Away for safekeeping. Junks and memoirs spanning from a decade old to as recent as 3 months ago. Of course, this is not the only box of "memories" that I have, for if it were, I'll be needing 2 full days to pack it all up.

From yearly passport photos, neoprints & neocards, to $1 notes. Farewell & Xmas cards to gifts & toys. I'm so thankful for every single one of you.

One day, when I open these boxes again, I hope to tell the many stories that were stored away with it. And I hope that I will be able to laugh off the once painful memories.

2009-02-15T03:57:00.002+11:00

Stereotyping!

Its been a while since I blogged. Since I've started Blogging again, it means that I'm flying back to Sydney soon!

Talking to Wilbur online now with regards to him teaching in VJC!

shu` says (12:53 AM):
- any naughty students?

w | L says (12:54 AM):
- haha.. not yet la.
- just taught my 1st lessons only
- must wait a while to identify all the shu wens and stephanies and terences
- haha

shu` says (12:55 AM):
- stephanies and terences are easier to identify. shuwens are harder.
- i'm a good kid k, just under the influence of some bad company!

Wilbur totally cranked up my day! I guess what happens in JC will be etched in your minds. And all my classmates will remember of me is that- Steph, Ter and I are always disappearing from Lectures and Tutorials, up to some mischief in another part of the school!

-

Another thing that made my day was receiving $400 in all from the GST Offset! Yay. It all goes to my Birthday Fund at the end of the year! (:

-

A long day tmrr. Nights!

2009-01-02T07:56:00.003+11:00

I think I came up with a new year resolution for myself.

- complain less
- more actions

I think this is enough to go by.

sleepless.....

2008-12-19T02:52:00.002+11:00

What am I chasing after?

I've been so busy since I came back to Singapore that I forgot what I'm chasing after. Hectic lifestyle. Unprioritised. Friends before Family.

tired now. continue posting this another day.

2008-12-13T04:17:00.002+11:00

Tired but twas a great week!

Exhausted but the sleep-less nights were duly rewarded!

Broke but the money spent was worth Almost every penny!

-

You must be wondering what on earth I've been up to.
A quick recall on the week where I wasn't acting all so fillial.

Monday:
Hari Raya Haji
Family Lunch (Dim Sum) at East Ocean Restaurant. And I, announcing my first step into adulthood-cum-working life, foot the expensive bill. Note to self, just stick to the Dim Sum and not the HoneyDew Sago! Then it is shopping with the family-aka-mom paying for everything. Alright, almost everything! Bought a new pair of palms! Orange with flowers. Pretty! Then it is a Lacoste Pink polo tee. Its Pink! Yes, get used to it. Then comes the bomb! My 337 dollars Agnes B. wallet after discount. I paid every single penny of it until I managed to find sponsors. Haha. Went home and zonked out at my favourite position. THE SOFA AT HOME. :D I think I love it more than my bed! Plus, my Mom brought out my blanket just for me.

Tuesday:
Work; then Dinner with Cell Group
Old Bei Jing (Lao Be Jing) at Plaza Sing.
Dessert is waffles at Gelare!
Full, tired, but reached home just in time for my 10pm!

Wednesday:
Work; then Dinner with Sagar & Nicky!
The long awaited dinner. :) Simple dinner at Subway! My first in almost a year. Haha. Chat and caught up! But I forgot my camera. ): It was creepy yet familiar. It seems as though I've known her for a long time, although technically, I've only met her for a brief 5 mins before a year and a half ago. I miss Sagar. The simple relaxing times we were hanging out together.

Thursday:
Work; then Dinner with the Sydney people at Chomp Chomp.
By that time, I was tired, and Cranky. Extremely cranky. I honestly do not know what came out from my mouth because I spoke without thinking. Fun, but energy consuming.
Despite the tiredness, I managed to squeeze in time for 10pm and Gossip Girl! Haha.

Friday:
Work, then Dinner with Mom at Shangri-La, The Line.
I had Shang Dollars to thank for a nice buffet. Though I obviously don't eat much now, I tried my best. I wanted to be a good daughter and go home for dinner. Too bad the Shang dollars thwart the plan. So tired. So here I am, using up the reserve energy. And, the 10pm show's ending was so disappointing. ): But I think I will still want to rent the show to watch once I'm done with work.

Ive counted, 7 more official days before I am done with work! Haha. I so want to go Thailand. With my Grandma. Will see if I can fit it into my and their schedule. Hehe. No Batam tmrr because Barnabas sprained his ankle. But its good too, cause I'm so tired the whole week. I just want to sleep in. I'll get sick if I do not get enough rest because my constitution is weak.

Yupps, I realised I should still ask ppl out, but at a leisurely pace. Haha. When I've stopped work, I'll be back to my hyper self. (:

Okay, why does CLASS 95 have Chinese songs at 1.39am????????

Zonking out in 5. Nights. Another weekly update soon.

2008-12-08T04:09:00.002+11:00

A Sulky Shu!

Shu is sulky tonight because Dear Joy doesn't want to meet her for supper or coffee/teh. :( She is so bad. In the end, I had to find Nigel! Haha. Not that he is 2nd choice, I just want to spike Joy. Okay, CHILDISH.

Teh-ing with Nigel is always fun. But we always end up talking about the same subject. Our future partners or potentials. Haha. And about random stuff. Haha. Time seems to pass quickly when I meet up with him for Tehs.

Clariden Leu's Dinner & Dance was just like any other. Boring for me because I do not know anyone there. But their door gifts are really interesting. They used play-dough instead of clay for us to imprint our handprints. Then they inserted a tag with our names written in it, and sealed it up. Interesting, affordable!

So so tired. :(

2008-12-05T03:04:00.002+11:00

Fatigue.

Ways to cause fatigue:
-Going on consecutive dinners with friends after work
-Going clubbing in mid-week
-Drinking shots and mixing
-Sleeping for 3 hours before waking up for work

Steps to battle fatigue:
-Get your Mom to wake you up in time for work
-Stuff breakfast into your mouth
-Swallow 2 panadol pills before heading out to work and squeezing with people on the train
-Buy KOPI-O before going up to the office
-Eating loads of Sugar biscuits from the pantry

More ways to fall ill:
-Dinners every night
-Company Dinner and Dance tmrr night
-Your week filling up by itself even before it start!

-

Yesterday:
Sheryl's birthday dinner then clubbing at Rebel.

Today:
Dinner at Chomp Chomp with Badminton people

Tmrr:
Company DnD

Saturday:
Friend's 21st Birthday Party

Sunday:
Church, video orientation, dinner with Serene

Monday:
Lunch with family (i think?)

Tues:
2 alternatives. Steph/Ter or Cell group

Wed:
Sagar & Nicky

Thurs:
Joy

Saturday:
Batam!!!

-

And all I want for Xmas is SLEEP. :)
And a tin of Sugar Biscuits.
:D

2008-11-30T23:44:00.004+11:00

You should be warned not the step on me, for you will never see the end from me.
You should be warned, once out, it is hard to come back in.

The self-conceited me cannot see through other people's thoughts. So it is best you tell me what you want from me.

-

Emo post, because I'm currently on a steep learning curve of growing up and I've lost track. Don't know what's the right thing to do anymore. And I have not idea how I landed myself in such a position. Is there a bigger truth behind all these? Am I supposed to continue suffering till He says stop?

I will continue to suffer until He says stop, for I know I will be rewarded in the end.

-

The things to look forward to in the coming weeks:
- Food
- Drinks
- Cable skiing in Batam
- Friends I love
- Jigsaw Puzzle
- Cycling
- Golf
- Nature trails

2008-11-29T05:04:00.001+11:00

No. 5 Emerald Hill.

Found a really nice place to hang out at night or after work. But according to most, it used to be the most happening, now its on a downhill. Nonetheless, its cool. Martinis are 2 for 1 after 9pm every night. If you don't like Martinis, there is an Ice Cold Beer Bar next door. Coolios. :)

Drank about 4 glasses of Martinis tonight. Feeling the effects now. Really tired from a week's worth of work.

2008-11-27T02:38:00.003+11:00

Office Life

Work is a chore. The heels are killing me. Somehow, I can never find comfortable heels. :( And looking at those documents everyday, I'm so drained. To think it is only the 3rd day! Haha. I get tired by 2pm, from a heavy lunch and walking. Then I've been having afternoon snacks. So fat.. Need to exercise.

Well, at least something bodes well. Its closer to the weekends. Have been a really good girl going home straight after work. It's all going to change. :) And my Aunt called me up today. I thought she had some job offer for me. Turns out, its something of the equivalent or even better. She asked if I was free on Sunday to hang out. YES, OF COURSE I AM. Haha. Hang out always has a different meaning to it. :)

2008-11-24T02:11:00.002+11:00

And they say all women are frickle.
But they do not understand what makes woman's mind tick.

I believe you understand what my silence means.

2008-11-18T02:32:00.004+11:00

I smell of Mothballs.

Yupps, my clothes at home smells of mothballs. Ewww.

-

Been sleeping a lot the past few days. It is a whirlwind ride for me the past few days. First, I got the call on Monday for an interview. Then, I went East Coast Lagoon to eat on Tuesday night. Wednesday, I went shopping alone for some office clothes. Then on Thursday morning, i started vomiting my guts out. What followed was more vomiting, near faints, and no-eating. It was a race to be fit for my interview on Friday morning. That said, I woke up at 530am on Friday morning feeling hungry only for my mom to cook me some porridge. After trying to eat, I went to bed, only to find myself vomiting out the porridge I just ate. Somehow, I still managed to go for the interview and despite me not saying a lot of things about myself, I managed to get the job for one month. Probably the best thing I said was that I'm proficient in MS Excel. That said, It is still a race for me to recover, get fit, and eat properly. Which is probably the hardest thing to do cause I really don;t fell like eating and I have to force myself to eat.

Imagine me being picky about food and everyone around me being irritated because they do not know what I want and I only took small bites. Oh wells, 1 more day to recover and start eating. Hopefully. I've been sleeping a lot too. The tiredness just never seem to stop!

The worse of all, the pig trotter ginger dish in the kitchen makes me want to puke! Ewww.

2008-11-15T04:44:00.006+11:00

Home and Away

Yeap, here it goes, I'M FINALLY HOME. Exam on Thursday morning which I left 30min early. Didn't even bother checking the answers. Home to celebrate with a beer! Before some last minute house chores and then its to Bondi. :)

Then its dinner at the Victoria Room to celebrate KengLoon's 23rd Birthday. I was the youngest of the night by a mile! :) Okay. Dinner was pathetic. Food wasn't that good and it was pricey. It was the size of tapas. Really disappointed. Then we head to Woolloomoolloo for Hot dogs. It was affordable and nice! Met Simon there. What a pleasant surprise.

After dinner activity was Guitar Heroes 3 at Gabe's Room. Coolios. I'm bad at hand-eye-coordination and rhythms. Totally ridiculed myself. Haha. But heh, by the end of the day, I managed to complete 3 songs on the drums and guitar. Haha. Who says I'm not improving. Here's photo of me when I completed my first song on the drums. Hotel California!

Back in Singapore now! Cut and dye my hair on the first day. Haha. Pictures. Back to Fantastic 4! :)

Alex and I.

Younger Brother and I.

2008-11-12T20:46:00.003+11:00

Haha.
The ♥ that warmed my heart.

Bak Kut Teh with noodles, and 2 hard boiled eggs. There is like 3 big pieces of pork inside. Shiok. Brought back my appetite for just 1 meal. But heh, its good enough.

The next 2 are the cheat sheets that I'm bring into my examination. It took me more than 4 hours writing it and you will never see Shu with such neat and tidy handwritings in the neat future. Haha. Its a master piece that I have to frame up.

Was in my room today. And I heard my neighbour, who was BBQ-ing in her balcony fart. It was pretty loudy. Thankfully she didn notice me in my room. Haha. EEWWW.

I checked into singaporeair.com alr. And booked my taxi to the airport. Have more to do tmrr, but my luggage seems like it is packed. I hope I didn't leave anything out. It would be disastrous if I did.

2008-11-12T09:42:00.002+11:00

I am so tired. My day started at 7am. The time now says 9.42am, and I've yet to do anything, except yawn. The only goo news is that in less than 48hrs, I'll be boarding the plane back to Singapore. The bad news is that, I'm so afraid I cannot wake up at 5am. Sigh...

Headache. Its the accumulative lack of sleep and nervous tensions. The constant alert mode is killing me. I want to be in sleep mode now. I really need to crash when I'm on the plane. This lacklustre pair of eyes are driving me insane.

Okay, weather is quite cold and chilly today. The sun refused to shine. I'm hoping tmrr will be a bright and sunny day. Fri morning too. Please dont rain!

And yes, waking up on time tmrr for the exam. I want to sleep by 10pm. I think I need it.

Hopefully I can be productive for 3-5hrs. Thats all the time that I need for today. I'm seriously going to go in with some luck. Hoping I do decently well.

2008-11-12T00:11:00.003+11:00

And the day just gets better

Possibly the best act of kindness I've ever received thus far...
Yanni's Mum called me this afternoon.
"I cooked Bak Ku Teh, and I'm going to buy some for you."
So Aunty took a bus all the way to Maroubra, and even walked up to my apartment even though I said I'll meet her at the Junction. She showed me the steps I must do to cook the Bak Ku Teh. She remembered that I wasn't cooking and living on instant food. Awww. My heart melted immediately.
♥ ♥ ♥

Part Two...
Had dinner at Seoul Ria with Erica, Grace, and the rest. And it was hilarious. Definitely made me laugh out loud the whole time.

Erica: Did you watch Fated to Love You?
Me: Yes, why?
Erica: How many bed scenes are there?
Me: -Laughing out loud. Then repeating what she said to the whole table.

Camwhoring Moments.
Whenever we said cheese, Erica would twist her fingers, EVEN THOUGH THE SHE IS NOT IN THE PHOTO! Haha.

Many more moments and photos. But I'm too tired to upload it. Another day perhaps. Nights. I'm going to wake up early to study tmrr. One last day to study. I need to make it right. It has to be right. :)

2008-11-10T21:37:00.004+11:00

You know you're screwed when...

a) It's the first time the university is having this course and you do not know what to expect.

b) Your sample paper does not come with answers

c) Your sample paper has stupid and ridiculous questions inside, or so the tutor said.

d) You ask your tutor a question, and she goes "its inside your lecture notes, go take a look at it"

e) You drank a fair bit of sake during dinner and you still have to study at night.
f) You're just screwed in a way that you just want everything to be over now!

---

Was at Uchi Lounge for dinner with some of the Badminton people. Nice ambience, good food. Definitely more affordable than Kobe Jones. Didn't take any pictures of the food, cause everyone was hungry. It came in small portions but almost every dish was good. Had warm yamagata sake and chilled passionfruit flavoured sake too.

Me, Sharon, Sarah, Zong, Eric, Felix

2008-11-10T11:20:00.001+11:00

Cause I am falling into depression.
:( :( :(

---
(edited)

For all that He has done for me.
He paved the route for me.
Now it is all down to me.
Do I take it in me, or let it disintegrate and embark on destruction?

We all try, but at the end of the day, we do not know if we've tried hard enough. Our perceived 100% may not be the best we can do. Don't forget the countless times you've failed to do your best....

Its all like the OLS regression. Our sample data may give us the best regression, but we are still liable to Consistency, Biasness and Inefficiency. The end product is not the true model we want to be..

2008-11-09T20:22:00.002+11:00

Bored as usual. Hence I decided to show you the work area cum war zone that I'm in now.

The 1st photo is my table in the room. The 2nd is the dinign table which is about 2metres long, and I've used up every inch of it. Including the floor.

And then there is Fuzzy on the bed, which as usual, has been banished to the corner. Facing the wall punishment every night and day. Haha.

I am like totally way behind schedule. Secretly feel like cancelling or just not appear for all the dinner appointments I have before the exam. Since I've mentioned it on my blog, I guess its no longer a secret.

---

Went for service this morning, then its Kam Fook for Yum Cha thereafter. I think the service talked about "Should we de-pressurize?" and about tithes. And about what can be shaken and what cannot, and your finances.

Ah, yes. It is about that. I wasn't asleep in service! Yay!

2008-11-09T01:20:00.003+11:00

I want to sleep, but I need to study.
I want to sleep and wake up at 530am to study, but I cant sleep.
I was tired, but that tiredness comes the moment I stare at my text.
I have 2 more chapters to go, before I embark on doing the sample paper which has no answers.
I roughly understand the gist of it all, but if you ask me, I can't tell you a thing.
I have yet to memorise the characteristics and some of the formulas.

The paper is on Thursdays morning. This is mentally tormenting. I still have to pack and settle some stuff. Actually, a lot of stuff. I really don't want to fail. Really.

---
(edited)

Was reading Driven to Eternity just now. And there was this part about following the Commandments faithfully in order to be in the Book of Life. And so I was wondering to myself, is me being lazy allowed? Is laziness part of your 'old' self that you're supposed to quit being?

Haha. Okay, its super random. And I'm still not done with my chapter. I think I'm going to read through the last chapter and see what I understand. I'll just study harder for the earlier chapters. No time to lose... Pass/Credit, I want you!

2008-11-08T13:49:00.002+11:00

Home Alone

Studying alone at home on a Saturday afternoon feels like you've been abandoned by your family while they go on their vacation. That's how it feels. Once again, stupid econometrics. I got so bored, I started taking self portraits of myself.

Here's one:

And of my dirty room and my living room which has no tv and no soul in sight.

2008-11-07T23:37:00.004+11:00

Kobe Jones

Haven't been in the best of mood in a while, but I try. I do, as much as I don't seem like I do. Went to Kobe Jones for dinner today. It's a Japanese restaurant located at Kings Street Wharf, Darling Harbour. Ordered the Perfect for Two to save us the trouble of choosing from their extensive selections.

Finally got my camera working again, so here are some pictures.

Daniel and I at the dinner.

Number One Special

This dish is so awesome! We ordered it a second time.

Definitely the best dish of the night.

Seafood Poke,

T&T,

Salmon in Ponzu Jelly,

Kobe Rolls - Lollipop, Caterpillar and the Alaskan Crab

The rolls and the poke was good! Very refreshing.

Sizzled Carpaccio Scallop

This dish wasn't that great. The Scallops wasn't fresh.

Miso Citrus Lobster Tail

An average dish compared to the standard of Kobe Jones. Overall, it was alright but it doesn't give you an awesome feeling.

Tajima Wagyu

It's served on a hot rock where you cook your own beef. The dish smells really good and you get to cook it yourself. Overall, the beef was of a high quality.

Ama Ozen

Dessert time!

Sushi Mi - fruits with cheesecake! Fantastic combination. The cheesecake has just the right texture.

Yuki Asobi - Japanese Tiramisu. mascarpone cheese with savoyardi biscuit soaked in sake.

Anko - Green Tea Creme Brulee. This dish served in a small tea cup had a flame on it when it arrived.

Dark Chocolate! - The 2 sticks that looks like chopsticks is dark chocolate!

More desserts.
Kanpai Trifle - Strawberry trifle with creme de crosis.
Green Tea Tiramisu

After the dinner, I was so full. (:

---

Home alone for the next few days. Then it is the most dreaded exam paper, and then it is home. I've calculated, in less than 168hours, I'll touch down in Singapore. (: And I'm all set and ready to party once more.

2008-11-05T22:53:00.002+11:00

Who cares about the Elections.

I NEED TO STAY HOME TO SAVE MONEY.
and apparently, this is not possible because Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tues, Thursday i have appointments with different groups of people. I hate end of the year farewells. Cause it means meet up with people as if we'll never see each other again and its money spent when I'm pretty tight on cash. Okay, that's a bit mean because some of them I'll never see in the near future, but others?? HELLO. Fellow Singaporeans, we'll see each other in Singapore! (If I have time for you, which I'm sure I will if you actually call me and book a date with me!!) I've so decided to work next year, hopefully at T2, so that I can learn more about the few things I enjoy in my life.

I'm so in a RANTING mode now. I want to bribe someone to take the Econometrics exam for me. So dreading Econometrics because I'm staring at it and its staring back at me. As if we can never understand one another. I'm trying to make sense of it. ALRIGHT. The more I resist it, the worse it gets. And the more I will not study it, and the probability of me failing is even greater.

I will want to get into a bitch/cat fight now and start throw pillows and slamming doors. Breaking porcelains and what-not. And it has to end with a tight slap. No guys, cause I'll definitely lose in the fight. Haha. So how, anyone signing up for it? I promise I wont touch the face other than the slap! Boxing, maybe I should take up boxing and enter competitions. How cool is that!

Why can't I be a spoilt brat and people should just do things to please me and not annoy the shit out of me.

---

Saw my friend's online nick. "Badminton is the only place where I feel proud of". Whoa, what a statement. Ashamed, I used to be able to proclaim that too. Now, I can't and I won't.

---

Saw another friend's blog about blah blah blah.. And I was, ain't that sound like me?

---

HOME BOUND. HOME BOUND. HOME BOUND.
While the world is focused on the Elections, I just want to fade away and disappear.

---

To Obama:
You may have finally won the Presidential Elections and is America's 1st Black President. It has only begun. The World is watching and scrutinising you in the coming 4 years. Legacy or not, its your choice. Deliver your word and lead America out of the financial turmoil.

2008-11-05T13:18:00.001+11:00

I'm in a bad mood and I'll pick a fight with anyone now.
RAHH.

2008-11-03T22:59:00.002+11:00

Bent, twisted and diseased for the filthy profits.
Alas, one man tried.
Though he couldn't save the sickest, the population survived.

2008-11-03T02:41:00.003+11:00

A crazy-ass day for me.

Woke up to go for the 10am Bondi service this morning. Slept for 5hrs max because I refused to sleep. Ha! Went Max Brenner's for hot chocolate and their signature belgian chocolates. Headed straight to borders there after to grab a book. Bought The Last Empress by Anchee Min. Its the seqeul to her book, Empress Orchid. I've always wanted to read it, so I'm pretty excited.

Then I refused to go home, so I went to Tea Two (T2) with the intention of buying some tea leaves. Picked out this one that smelt really fragrant. It's called Buddhas Tears and it's labelled under the Exotic section. Went up to the counter and said I wanted it. ZOMG, the price came up to 50bucks. But knowing me, after the initial shock and mentally calculating the amount of money I had in my ATM, I purchased it. Heart pain, and broke. :(

Then Joy and I wanted to look for shorts and berms. We shopped around and all. And we stumbled upon Afro Funk which had nice tops and dresses at relatively decent prices. And ZOMG again, I found something that I like. Ended up purchasing it 1 hr later!!

We continued to walk around to find shorts. Went to General Pants Co. and I saw this new style converse that I like. And its only 70 bucks. Maybe maybe. I havent bought it. But I'm feeling very "gian" now. AND WHEN I FEEL THIS WAY, ITS A BAD SIGN BECAUSE I'M GOING TO SPEND MORE MONEY. :(

Finally headed home to save my wallet the blushes. Grabbed my book and made myself a cup of tea. I reckon each cup would cost between 50cents to a dollar. ha! Read the book till I fell asleep. Ended up being late for Hillsong's 25th Anniversary Celebration at Darling Harbour. Managed to be there only for 2 worship songs and the 5-minute long fireworks. Thank goodness I went for service in the morning!

Then we walked all the way to the Rocks for dinner at the Waterfront. They had fireworks display there too, and it was nicer than Hillsong's. I wonder what is the special occasion today. Able to see 2 specular fireworks display at close close range. :D At dinner, I wanted to eat this main that looked really tempting. But it put there "market price". I decided not to make the same mistalke again in the same day. Asked the waiter how much was it, and it turned out to be a whopping $18 x 6 = $108. For one main! OMFG. Thank goodness I asked beforehand. Settled for this other pretty decent main la. It still cost me 50 bucks for the dinner. Imagine the amount I've spent in one day. Some frivolous, some essential to a certain extent.

Haiis. Its budget time YET again. I deserve it. :(

2008-11-02T02:14:00.002+11:00

He has his ways.

A week ago, I was complaining to my older brother about my stress level and that I was sick and all. Instead of the usual humouring, he just gave me a link, to go and listen to worship. Diligently, I did, and I felt better almost instanteously. My older brother doesn't know that my stressful days are kinda over, but he spoke to me on msn this afternoon again.

"Go take a look at Worship last week, it was great."

There may have been times where I wished he was all-so-big-brother-ish towards me. But I'm grateful for the times when he is. He does it in a quiet and subtle way. He does it silently, not through words or actions. But like me, he craves for people to just read his mind and heart, and understand where he is coming from.

-

I almost lost my phone today. Was taking a bus home from Kensington after dinner at Sushi Tengoku with Keng Loon and Melody. I put my phone in the pocket of my jacket, not the usual place where I put my phone. I must have been absent-mindedly playing with it on the bus cause I was kinda distracted and thinking about certain things. The moment I stepped down from the bus, I felt that something was wrong; The weight didn't feel right. Went back onto the bus again and I found my phone! Thank God. Maybe it was Him, maybe it was me and my alertness, but I'm still thanking Him for it.

This made me realise how important my phone is.
1) It's my only mode of communication, and my link to everyone.
2) All information (i.e. numbers) are stored in it, and I do not have a backup copy.
3) It's my alarm clock. Without it, I wouldn't have woken up for my 9am classes, 10am services and examinations.

Now, that gives me enough reason to buy myself a multi-snooze alarm clock when I return to Sydney next year. And have a backup copy of all my friends numbers..

-

Spent the past 2 days sleeping, watching movies and streaming. Watched finish "Fated to Love You" yesterday. Watched Blood Diamond today. Was watching Sweeney Todd just now before I fell asleep. Was so tired this morning that when I woke up at 11am, ate brunch and fell asleep on my bed immediately. Did not even bother to close the door or switch off any of the lights in my room.

Been discussing and planning my activities when I'm back in Singapore! Woohoo. :)

At the top of the list as always is my favourite Cod Fish dish. Then, similar to last year's routine, is a date with the hairdresser the next day I return, a date with the dentist and a facial appointment. I have yet to cut my hair since my birthday. Now its not only long, its frizzy and dry and unhealthy! I need a new colour too. Choose: Dye or Highlight? Cause I can only choose one. No $$ ! Oh yes, Eyebrows too. And maybe the nails... :) Its the feel good factor coming in again. I cannot let anyone see me in my crappy self.

Other food lining up for me is Kwey Chap, Shabu Shabu, Supper, my dosage of Prata with my YBro, Mr Bean ice cream, Haagen Dazs, etc....

Okay, back to Econometrics. I need to finish at least one chapter. :)

2008-10-31T01:29:00.003+11:00

"Cause I'm freeee, free-falling ... "

It's over, those last 5 days. I've suffered a lack of sleep, headaches, and mood swings. My poor housemate has to bear the blunt of most of it. A grouchy Shu is one you should never step on. The idea of having to be at 150% concentration when you're studying and then perform for the exams. In the end, I think I screwed up. Should be able to pass the exams, but I know I can't ask for more. I deserve the stupid grades I get this semester.

One more Econometrics paper left on the 13th. I'm going to start early, I dont want to go through the same torture again.

-

Did housework tonight. I just felt that my room was too dirty, so was the living room. Great workout. Ironed all my clothes too. Was running out of "lok cok" things to wear. Now my room is neat and clean. Wanted to take a photo of the before and after. But I believe my camera's battery went bonkers. Need a new one soon, so that I can start taking photos.

Unlike last year, I dont want to count down till the day I fly home. I'll know it when I have to fly. For now, let me chill for one day and get some sleep.

2008-10-30T00:44:00.001+11:00

I AM ALMOST THERE. almost, nearly.

3 more chapters to go. I want to sleep by 3ish so that I can have at least 3 hours of sleep. The time now reads 1245am. And I'm so afraid I cannot wake up tmrr. But that is the least of my concerns now. 3 more + bathe!

2008-10-29T17:11:00.002+11:00

ARGGHHH.

I RATHER DIE THAN TAKE THE EXAMS TMR.

SIMPLY NO TIME.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHT I'M STUDYING NOW.

Yuzhen >> exams, exams, exams. not very good. :/ but it'll be over in 24hours. or less.

Remember: Pressured, not stressed.

2008-10-28T22:33:00.005+11:00

I drank cough syrup so that I can fall alseep by 1130pm. Call me crazy. Haha. I've done that before. I need all the rest I can get tonight. Portfolio and Macro can go for a holiday until 12pm tmrr.

Oh, and technically I only took 48hrs (inclusive of sleep) to study finish Accounting 2b (9 Chapters) ! That in itself is an achievement, and even more so because it is Accounting 2b. I really hope I can remember all that I've learnt.

Note to self: Never try this ever again. So tough on the body. I almost thought I couldn't survive. 24hours seems like a week long. Sitting on your chair, knowing you have to finish reading and memorising the text in front of you before moving on to the next chapter. Not to mention I;ve suffered headaches and near-migraines along the way. Well, at least I didn't turn to drinking or wanting to smoke along the way!

-

I'm still sad over the fact that the Eric Clapton's Slowhand Concert Tickets were sold out within 5 days. I really wanted to go for the concert. What's left are the most expensive tickets of $399.90. Sigh. Next March, I'll be so sad becuase I should have been there. :( And yea, that if less motivation for me to study. hurhur.

-

Paul's birthday 2 weeks back.

Such a pretty photo. The best of the night. :)

I want to be in a playground now.

Fuzzy says Goodnight. :)

Yanho >> Thank you and study hard. I can't wait to see you back in Singapore. :D

2008-10-28T15:38:00.002+11:00

I'm so tired. Slept at 5ish last night, and woke up at 1045am. And it wasn't a pleasant sleep. I was tossing and turning throughout. So tired at the thought of the exams that I want to give up now and go and play. seriously. I'm losing my insanity. Ain't even studying properly now. The last 2 chapters of Consolidation - Minority Interests. Ewww. 40 more slides to go only.... sigh. I need a lollipop now.

2008-10-27T22:07:00.002+11:00

Put your seatbelts on, cause Shu is in for the rollercoaster ride of her life. And you might not see her alive thereafter, so please take a moment and pray this final pray with her.

-

If God is not with me now, then there is only doom that awaits me, cause all that I need now is Godspeed.

2008-10-27T13:38:00.002+11:00

Some call it playing your cards, others call it playing with fire; I call it being friendly. :)

-

Went to school for consultation this morning. Drank a double shot Mocha. Motivated to study now! FINALLY. But I'm also left with 36 hours or even less. Okay. Bye. No time to waste.

2008-10-27T01:33:00.001+11:00

Darn, now that I'm in a mood to study, I'm terribly sick. All I want to do all day is sleep and sleep. When will I get that? Sigh.

2008-10-26T16:53:00.003+11:00

Been sick - coughing, and have been feeling a bit cold, so I reckon the fever is coming. Ate like flu tablets and drank cough syrup when I came home after church this morning. And I had the weirdest of dreams. It felt so surreal, and for a moment I was lost in time. More of that please...

The dream:
I was on this mission for this Very Important Person (VIP). This VIP had supernatural powers too, and it doesn't help that there is this person after his life. So, I was on my way to meet this VIP, when the killer thought that I was him, and started going after me. The killer shot me and I fell to the ground, and then he realised that he got the wrong person, so he moved on. I don't know how long I stayed on the ground, but the next thing I knew, VIP found me and brought me to his hotel room.

VIP then proceeded to heal me with his supernatural powers. I felt like I was really being treated cause I drifted in and out of sleep. Then at one point in time, it felt as though someone was trying to dispel all my phelgm out of my throat. Like I can feel the phelgm literally coming upwards. In my dream, I spit it out. Obviously I didn't, cause my bed will be dirty. Then I coughed, so I woke up from my dream.

When I fell asleep again, this VIP and his whole bunch of protectors, some of them I recognise by face, were ready to head out. Their plan is to lure the killer out again and carry on with his mission. In between, there was also this old man and a young child - boy playing on the top of the building.

... (I forgot the fighting and luring part, but we won after some deception)

The after party was weird! I was taking photos with my friends when my whole family came down and we started taking photos together. Like weird and hilarious photos that you would only do with your friends. Ha.

...

The next thing I knew, I was awake... What a dream.

Alright, now that I'm alive and kicking, I'm going to start my work for the day! Ha.

-

Watched Breakfast at Tiffany's yesterday. Felt that it was overated though. I can't figure out what's the hype about it. Then again, it was filmed in 1961 and we are in the year 2008.

Making plans to go for the Eric Clapton Concert next March. Must be kiasu a bit and book tickets now. Cause I'm getting the cheapest ticket and so I want the best seats out of the lot! haha.

-

Have been eating porridge. Will be eating porridge. How healthy am I?

2008-10-24T23:45:00.002+11:00

The world has never stopped spinning, but we choose to believe that it did. Likewise, having setbacks isn't the life-threatening. As a matter of fact, it teaches you something new each time, helping you to grow as a person. As much as you detest it, its beneficial. So why choose the easy way out all the time? No one gets lucky all the time, its how you deal with it that counts.

With that, I on the other hand have to learn how to let go. Even if I want to be Salvation Army, I have to recognise my limits first. I've taken on a new hobby of shouldering other people's burden, of being a Good Samaritan. I feel good doing it, and I love helping out whenever I can. But if this comes at an expense of affecting others, then I'm not so sure. The last thing I want is to pass on the extra responsibilities I've taken up to others... Help within your own limits!

-

So, accounting exam is on wednesday, and i've yet to start on it.
-smiles innocently, hoping that the guilt will go away NOW.

2008-10-24T16:56:00.003+11:00

NEW TEMPLATE-
in the midst of exams. :D

I like it. But this also means that I haven't been studying. :/

2008-10-24T15:59:00.002+11:00

What starts out great does not necessarily end up in greatness. What matters is the process. If only people understood that...

2008-10-24T00:01:00.000+11:00

I decided that black is too dull for my liking. Hence this colour to brighten my day. Going to change the whole template soon. After exams!

2008-10-23T23:22:00.001+11:00

Cold like winter.
Sick like a puppy.
Lazy like a pig.

We'll get lost together - Lost; Michael Buble

2008-10-22T23:12:00.002+11:00

Passion World Tour 2008 - Sydney
21 October 2008

I'm so glad I went for the concert even though I had lots of work to do and I didn't do work today either. Stressed yet not very. It's hard to describe but I know I'm not alone.

Louie Giglio, Chris Tomlin, David Crowder Band.
Awesome Combination.
Worship was great too.
And, I got in for free.
Not complaining at all.

Yesterday and today, you're the One. Your grace is all that I need.

I made a few big decisions within the past 24 hours.
Letting go, living righteously, and some other decisions which I think is the right. I think he'll be proud of me for doing it. Glad for an understanding Mum. Only 2 sentences said and she understood completely. No questions asked, just a Yes- Alright.

See, it wasn't that hard, wasnt it?

I don't know what will happen in the coming few months, I wouldn't know how everything will work out, but it will.

2008-10-21T13:12:00.001+11:00

9.5/1o for my accounting test! Yay!
Woke up at 630am today to study a bit before going to school. Couldn't survive my Econometrics lecture. Came home early for an hr of nap. Drifted in and out through the 1 hr, but it felt great. :)

2008-10-20T20:12:00.003+11:00

Shuwen needs her mummy now!
to cook food for her and wake her up for classes and exams.

-

Overslept today. terrible x1 !
Drank 2 cups of long black. terrible x2 !
Stomach was churning due to the excessive long black and other factors. terrible x3 !
Lack of sleep. terrible x4 !
Its official that she failed and did miserably for 2624 mid-sems. terrible x5 !
Wrote something wrong in Macro class test. terrible x6 !
Another group in 2624 presented exactly the same thing as we did. terrible x7 !

Sian.

Managed to get 9/10 for macro presentation and essay weeks ago.
2624 presentation is over.
Yay!

2008-10-20T01:33:00.002+11:00

An unparalleled talent.
Not many can attempt it, let alone achieve it.
It is usually accompanied by the f word.
The tally count now:
- 1 cup
- 1 light plane
- 1 big plate
- 1 bowl
The funny thing is, the talent only activates when I'm stressed.

2008-10-19T22:02:00.001+11:00

i'm so fucking stressed that i actually find playing freecell destressing. the next ten days determines my fate. i need all the help i can get. and all the supernatural power i can get.

2008-10-19T13:29:00.002+11:00

He's with me all these time. He told me to stop and listen previously. And at service today, he taught me how to do it.; how to stop and relax.

:D
Thank you.

-

Drank my first Long Black of the semester. A bit too late, but i have 10 days to make this right. Long Black signifies the starting point. Dang, I should have started drining long black days ago.

2008-10-18T17:58:00.002+11:00

- Cleaning up of my apartment
- Rearranging the layout of my room in hope that it stimulates me to study
- Yun Hsiu's 21st
- SSA meeting
- Nory's 22nd

Nothing pertaining to work has been done the past couple of days. terrible terrible! I think this warrants a FAIL from me. Sigh.

2008-10-16T22:08:00.001+11:00

i don't want to not know you.
i can't not know you.

2008-10-16T21:43:00.003+11:00

Just read through a friend's blog who is on an exchange in Europe now. She's happily exploring the place, taking photos and all. And then I ask, why aint I doing that too? i.e. taking lots of photos, blogging about the wonderful and different things in Sydney.

And Shu always has an answer or an excuse to everything. So here it is: I've assimilated into the culture here. This is my home for the next few years, so its gotten boring in a way. Been to restaurants, tried to explore a bit. Travelling and all. I've yet to stop, but it has gotten boring.

And yet I hear His voice talking to me: You've been running around the whole year, you have yet to stop. You've been distracting yourself, escaping. It's about time to stop.

2008-10-15T15:28:00.002+11:00

do you think a script can be marked wrongly? or someone keyed wrongly for my student no. or my script marks?

BECAUSE i just failed 2624. eff. and to think i thought i did quite well.

2008-10-13T23:48:00.001+11:00

How hard is it to talk to me on the phone for 10-15mins?
I waited the whole night, and when you were ready, I was too angry and it was too late.

2008-10-12T23:19:00.002+11:00

if today was anything to go by, i hope it marks a brand new start.

20 years on, i'm reborn. past glories aside, its time i live life for myself. there will not be any regrets. thank you for all you've given me, but enough is enough. there has to be an end, and this is it.

2008-10-12T01:16:00.003+11:00

for one too many reasons, my back is sore. it hurts and i cant sit down properly at all. even sitting upright is a chore for me now. lying in bed is the best solution. but how can i study like that?

for the numerous times in my life, i hate badminton for screwing up my body. medals and glory are for the moment. the only thing that last are the permanent injuries you sustain.

2008-10-11T00:06:00.002+11:00

I see a different you when I'm observing you from far. I see it in everyone too. And suddenly, I'm awake, enlightened by the fact that I can be so blinded all the time. Yes, I aim to be enlightened all the time. But the question arises, do I want to be enlightened? Do I really want to see these things in them? Then it dawns on me, I've been lying to myself all these while.

2008-10-07T22:07:00.002+11:00

Back from Melbourne and tired. I just want to sleep everyday. Feeling so lethargic. :(

Melbourne was both good and bad. I managed to take some time of everything, yet found enough time to understand myself and my limits better. Things happened in Melbourne, and I can only learn from it. I can't do everything on my own, even if I can control my own fate, I cannot interfere in others. Not that I want to anyway. But I also learnt that my strength alone is not enough to help those around.

This Badminton competition has also pushed me back to square one. Injuries and failures. One thing I know for sure is that unlike previously, I won't bounce back on the Badminton courts. It's over. My body is calling it quits after a decade, and I need to focus on rehabilitation. Plus, I think I've embarrassed myself enough in this tournament and I should have stopped last year, with a bang. It's insulting to the sport I hold in high esteem.

At the end of the day, why did I even succumb to pressure and say Yes?

-

Just received my exam timetable and booked my flight back to sydney. Lets just say, its a lousy timetable, but I'm also fortunate for it.

-

Aight, drinking my wine now, and ready for bed.

2008-09-24T23:00:00.001+10:00

If a chick flick makes your day, I say, why not?

Another Cinderella Story

2008-09-24T20:51:00.003+10:00

Shu wants to be at the F1 Grand Prix in Singapore! :(

Shu has gone back to her instant noodles eating days. The only consolation is that there is a better variety of noodles and dishes, and NO MORE sausages.